Difficulties
by Annah Woods
Summary: Adrien, a model. He longs to be loved by his father and win Ladybug's heart. But what's the point of living when all of those things can never happen? His thoughts drag him down and he feels alone. As if no one can help him.. (Self harm and suicide in later chapters. Adrienette and Ladynoir shipping included)
1. chapter 1

Part 1

Song to Story

Song: Only A Memory by Icon For Hire

 ** _LBCNLBCN_**

Adrien Agreste. Status - Model. He seemed as if he'd have the easiest. But he didn't. His emerald green eyes looked out of the limo window. Nothing to see really. Only it being late.

He was wearing his typical kind of cloth wear. Blue jeans that ended where some of the top of his shoes were hidden. His shoes a bright orange, but a not so blinding shade. And a logo of a black butterfly with a circle around it on the outside sides. He also had on a black T-shirt with a yellow, purple and a green stripe right along his chest going horizontally. But covered sort of by a white forearm sleeved white slit shirt.

He sat with his back up straight. No slouching or anything because his father would be disappointed him. Just be that perfect model boy for his father. The golden blonde haired model sighed. He had just finished fencing with Kagami and his other teammates.

The first time he met Kagami, he had thought of her as his beloved Ladybug. That is until she was akumatized and he still longed to know who was under that mask. Whoever was under that mask, he'd love them. Sure Ladybug did make mistakes from time to time and akumatized some people. Even himself as Ladybug's feline partner, he had gotten one or two akumatized. He honestly couldn't keep track.

The limo pulled up front of Adrien's home. Well rather a mansion.

He shook his head and stepped out of the car. Natilee followed him through the metal gates.

Natilee. Gabriel Agreste's assistant. And looks after Adrien and his schedule. She felt like a mother to him after his real mother disappeared for some reason.

Both him and his father were impacted greatly and his father isolated him away from the world. Adrien understood that his father wanted to keep him safe. Though, he felt like he didn't care enough to spend some quality time together. Yes, he considered him family, but after what he's done with being homeschooled, he wanted to have friends and be like the other teens. But no, as his father quoted, "You are not like normal teens." It did cause him to become distant.

He climbed up the stairs with his head held high. And his father waiting for him at the center of the room on the stairs.

Gabriel Agreste had on his typical clothes. A red and white colored tie, a white suit with a pale blue undershirt, and red pants. As for his shoes, whites ones also. Glasses were propped up on his face and his facial feature was cold. He had his hands behind him, but clasped.

Adrien opened the large doors. Gorilla needed to fit through if he needed any orders from his father. Orders? Commands. More like demands. The model boy smiled a bit when he saw his father.

"Adrien."

"Yes father?"

"Please go to your room while Natilee, Gorilla and I talk about important things."

He didn't argue. Adrien knew what would happen if he did that. He nodded and headed upstairs past his father.

His eyes followed his son up the stairs until he heard the door shut.

 **LBCNLBCN**

Adrien laid face first on his bed. He was tired of his father telling him what he could and couldn't do with his life. Just because he was a model.

A black orb flew out from Adrien's pocket. "What's the deal with him?" the black orb was a small floating cat. Black cat and completely green eyes except for the pupil. Fierce pupils.

"I'm not going to complain." he let out a sigh and let his eyes close. But unfortunately, his kwamii, that was talking to him couldn't shut up about wanting his cheese.

"Adrien wake up. I want cheese. Give me cheese. Come on. I want cheese."

The model boy groaned and pointed to a small refrigerator near his desk where two desktop computers were. Three whole wheels of stinky camembert. How nice. This is why he took long showers to get out the smell of the cheese. But him would be like now. This what he called a happily ever after wasn't making him so happy. So with his eyes closed, he didn't really sleep, but in his mind, he daydreamed a different ending. With his mother present. His father not so stern and hard on him to be the best or be this perfect boy. Nino, Alya, and Marinette with him too.

Another sigh escaped his lips. He opened his eyes. He was not going to let his father be the person to bring him down. All he felt like that his father cared about was only himself. But, deep deep down, he knew that wasn't true. He knew nothing of what happened to is mother and only knew she disappeared without a word to say to them both. It wasn't his father's fault or mother's.

He sat up and looked at his white ring on his hand. The ring was special to him and he also knew that his father was going to find out someday.

Another thought crossed his mind. His own father being Hawkmoth. But he didn't believe that. He didn't believe that his father wanted all power from both good and bad luck. But, he got akumatized. It was impossible. Unless Ladybug knew of something he didn't. Secrets weren't supposed to be kept about other known Miraculouses. But maybe there was a reason why Rena only showed up on occasions.

There was an akuma attack almost every single day. It was getting harder and harder by each day. Negative emotions becoming stronger and stronger. Deeper more like because of what Chloe had done. His first best friend was all over him now. Wanting to spend time with him all the time, but as a gentleman, lightly pushed her away or stood there.

He loved Ladybug. Not Chloe. Although, Marinette starting to make his heart flutter. But personally, he couldn't decide between them.

The boy with golden yellow hair walked to his window. His window was enormous. Enough to be able to be broken and splatter all over the floor.

He put a hand on the window as well as his forehead. His mind was currently a kaleidoscope. Stuck in mixed feelings and missing his mother. And so much more.

His shoulders dropped. He had to go out and be free. Not some trapped animal locked inside this cage.

"Plagg, claws out!" he said without a single word to his kwamii.

"Wait, no! I wasn't done with my-" but the cat kwamii was sucked into the white ring.

The ring turned black as a bright glowing cat paw pad. The transformation had begun as the green glow began to put on a similar version of what his kwamii was. Cat ears, a belt tail and a baton or stick on one side of him. His outfit entirely leather and fitted tight on his body. Except for his mask which was made by something else. And his 'claws' appearing as well.

As soon as the transformation was done, he opened a window and sat there for a moment. He looked back at his closed door. "I'm not staying in here father." he said to himself.

From his side, he took out his baton and jumped from rooftop to rooftop to where he and his Lady usually met.


	2. Chapter 2

As the leather clad heroine leapt across the roofs of Paris he noticed Ladybug heading to their designated area where they typically met. This was his night to be on patrol. Not her's. And yet that made him think and that warm feeling he felt around her. His mind was still on his own father controlling his life.

But knowing Ladybug, he knew that talking about their lives outside of their superhero selfs keeping their identities safe was all that mattered to her. He could keep a secret like he had for most of his life when it came to not telling anyone he was Chat Noir.

His thoughts cleared when he saw Ladybug sitting. He noticed that her black hair was included with dark blue highlights. And her pigtails held by red ribbon.

"Ladybug?.." he asked softly. Worry was in voice. Even if they may not know each other in their civillion selfs, it still concerned him how his Lady wasn't doing alright. A little off towards the last akuma attacks in the past week.

He watched her body twitch. She didn't turn to him. "Chat. You scared me."

"I'm so sorry."He hesitated to ask a question. "Are you okay?"

It seemed like forever when his Lady hadn't answered for a bit. But at least she responded to him which made him feel a little better. He sat down besides her as she responded to him.

"I'm alright, kitty."

That nickname. He loved that nickname.

He gently picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. Oh how he wanted to feel her real hand. He imagined it to be soft and smooth. And not have to feel the latex against his lips. He gently placed a gentle kiss for her.

To his surprise, she didn't pull away. Now that was unusual for his Bugaboo. Or she'll tease him about not identities and never knowing. That saddened him. He looked away from her.

He noticed how she seemed to notice that he wasn't doing alright either. It was his Lady before himself.

He then felt how gentle her hand were and at the corner of his eye, he felt his Lady look at him. "Ladybug...M'Lady…" he managed to say around her.

"Yes, Chaton?" she set a hand on his cheek.

He was surprised by this sudden touch. How was this Ladybug? But he soon remembered that he shared some moments with her on their nightly patrols. He looked down at her.

Tears were streaming from her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this.

He pulled her close to him. Both of his arms wrapped around her and dared not to let her go. He looked down at her a bit more. "Ladybug. Tell me what's wrong?"

And she didn't respond. He felt her hands slide down to his chest. Her quiet sobs were all he heard.

He sat down with her still in his arms. Even, he loved comforting her. And she'd do the same for him. He also knew he had to be patient with her and not push so much. That would only make things worse.

The cat heroine simply waited patiently. The sound of her miraculous beeped. ' _She used her lucky charm? When?'_ he asked himself. Then shook his head. He simply picked her up. "I won't look."

"Just bring me somewhere safe, kitty.."

He nodded at her simply command. Chat took careful precautions to make sure she was safe as he leaped from rooftop to rooftop across Paris. He honestly didn't like all the crazy fangirls all over him. His Lady was fine for him, but he didn't was to make his Lady to jealous over him.

And with this time, he had to make sure no one was following them. He simply jumped down where there were shadows and sat there. At least no one else was here. He looked up.

Pink and red sparkles surrounded is precious Ladybug. As much as he wanted to look, he didn't. He respected her wish. Even if it hurt him.

His head dropped. ' _I don't need to bother her.'_ he thought to himself.

A few minutes passed and he was startled by a hand touching his shoulder. "Oh Ladybug, it's you."

She giggled. "Scaredy cat, hm?"

 _'_ _Wait..she was sad just like a few moments ago. Where was I when this happened?'_ He looked at her and nodded. Unable to say anything, he took a hand of her's and kissed it once again. "But that's _paw-sitively_ a good thing, Bugaboo. I feel so much safer with you."

She pushed his back gently. "You know I appreciate you as as partner, Chat, but I don't even know who I like anymore."

"Not even me?"

"I'm not even sure." she replied to him.

His cat ears sort of lowered in sadness. Now he felt like he couldn't express himself to Ladybug. The best girl in all of Paris. His civilian self was so boring compared to his flirty self of being a cat themed superhero. Though he didn't want his Lady to see what kind of sadness that brought him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." he lied to her. "I have to go." he turned away from her. Tears began to fill his eyes. He was so close, yet so far. "See you later, M'Lady." he jumped away. These tears now blurring his vision.


	3. 3

**This story is more in Adrien's point of view because I like the way he views things. I can just feel and empathize him. Thanks for the reviews and being patient.**

 **LBCNLBCN**

 _"You don't really think of me that way, do you Chat Noir?"_ Those very words echoed through his mind after the event with Sandboy. He had his fears as Adrien and Chat Noir, but what he couldn't believe when he thought about things more, his own father didn't even care about his safety when he was locked in the endless bars that let him not be free.

He stared out the window. He missed his mother and all his father had told him was that she went away for a long time and never returned. Ever since then, he was miserable without her. Things were so happy with her around. Those hugs she'd give him. Playing hide n' seek, but she'd go easy on him and be playful when he was the one to hide.

Those memories made him miss her even more and he longed to feel that love again. Maybe his Lady could help him with that if only he could tell her.

Secrets held that back. To protect them at least.

His father locked him away from what a life he wanted. To have a normal teenage life. He felt like an animal. He wasn't allowed to hang out with his friends and had to stay in his room to video talk with them.

School was pretty much about it of what he could do, and the only freedom he could ever have was being Chat Noir.

But the rest of the night, he was over thinking once again. He was trapped in his mind.

What he also felt was that there was a reason why his father would put him through all of this. Though he had figured out maybe one or two reasons of why his father turned out like this.

One, grieving for his mother. Gabriel could be taking out all of his pain, frustrations, and anger at him. He felt be was just another sick reminder of her and that he was only a human too.

There had to be secrets that he could be holding back from him. His father was distant and they never really spent any real time with each other.

Gabriel was always busy.

And for Adrien, he felt he was the one at fault. Maybe..


	4. chapter 4

It wasn't long before his thoughts had poofed into nothingness and he heard a knock at the door. He guessed it was Natalie.

He slowly got up from his bed and walked over to the door. For some reason he felt that Natalie knew him more than he did himself. She was sort of like this motherly figure, but not enough.

He opened the door and smiled up at her. "What is it?" he asked.

"Your father requested to see you. Up in his office." she waited for him to come out of his room, and as he did, she followed behind him.

He heard the door to his room close. Adrien was the boy who had everything, but that didn't make him happy. He kept a strong face and headed to his father's office. He knocked a few times, waiting for a response from his father.

"Come in."

He turned the handle.

"I would like to be alone with him."

Natalie gave a single brief nod. "Of course, sir."

The door closed behind her and she awaited outside.

Gabriel clasped his hands together and put them underneath his chin. "I see your grades have been dropping in that school. Are you getting enough sleep?"

"Yes father." Adrien loved his father, but couldn't help at it to begin to loose trust in him. He was tired of fighting for his father's love. He understood why he would worry about him. "I'll get them back up." he turned away and walked out. The blond heard his father call out his name, but all he felt was pain. He knew people had it worse than him, but that didn't make him feel any better. The blond could feel how his father stared at him and seemed to beg him to look back at him, but he didn't. All he wanted was to be with his friends. Alya, Nino, Kagami, Luka, and Marinette.

They were all so supportive of him. He gave a small smile to himself. Especially Marinette..

He slumped in his chair that faced his desktop computers. "I wish you were here, mom." he mumbled and then sighed. There wasn't anyone he could turn to. No one to really talk to him and really understand him. He wished he could just talk to Marinette now. She listened.

It confused him slightly why he couldn't really make words with him. Did she hate him? No. She remained to be kind to him.

His mind set on his best friend Chloe. He could talk to her, but he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. He simply closed her eyes.

Another idea popped in his mind. He could be Chat Noir and sneak out. He also needed an excuse on why he wasn't in his room. Taking a long relaxing shower? Perfect.

"Plagg?" he hoped his kwamii hadn't turned into a sock again. That scared him a bit.

"Kid, it's two in the morning. What is it now?"

"It's eleven." Adrien corrected the black cat. "Can you hold out a transformation even though you're tired? Maybe an hour or two?"

"An hour and that's it."

He gave the kwamii a grateful smile. Deep down, he was beginning to crumble. He felt jealous of Marinette. She has a loving mother and father while his didn't even bother to care. He was put into a lot of danger. "Nevermind. Get some rest." he said. His heart beat slowly.

Everything was going to be okay, right?


End file.
